she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
