They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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