I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
