He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
