I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
