You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
