we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
