judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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