I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize
