My cat gives me a boner
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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