She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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