Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
