and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize
