I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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