I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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