And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
