VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
you inspire me to be a worse person
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
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