how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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