i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Damn victory sex feels great
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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