I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
