Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
