my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
