i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
