you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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