it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
