so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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