Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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