he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
