Pregnant stripper...not hot.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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