Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize
