So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
