why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
