We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
