He is such a slut. More and more my type.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
