Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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