Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
