I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Randomize
