I just cut my nipple shaving
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
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He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
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He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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