why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Do you have feelings for this penis?
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I enjoy the company of your penis
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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