remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
i believe in u and ur pee
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
