why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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