So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Enjoy the penises
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
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