oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Randomize
