i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
