you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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