he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
PANTIES FOUND
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