the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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