weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I want to fling myself into the sun
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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