my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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