I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Randomize
