If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
