Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Watching her eat just hurts me
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
