His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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