I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
