Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
