i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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