i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
